Caldicot's Second Supermarket Rumours.

[exiled_humanity]

Yes we've all heard some outlandish rumours about the second that always threatening to land in Caldicot, but was is the wierdest rumour you've heard about it?

I heard a cracking one this morning. Apperantly they've decided that the ideal location for the new supermarket would actually be on the Severn itself.

Town councilors feel that the floating supermarket would serve both as competition for the existing one in the centre of town, as well as being a tourist attraction - the only floating supermarket in Wales. They feel this is the ideal location for a number of reasons, first of all it will ease the gridlocked, congested traffic of the town centre and be an ideal place to enhance Caldicot's tourist trade.

Plans have been put forward to beautify the area around the proposed site, and even turn it into the new Venice. Caldicot Councilors feel this plan will attract make Caldicot the prime location during the Bore.

So whats the silliest rumours you've heard about the supermarket? And what do you think, if anything about it? And everyone happy with Somerfield being changed into a Waitrose?

[Gray Hill]

:eek:

I had to check the date on the OP, just in case it was 1st April!

A floating supermarket? Whatever next!

Free Quells anti-sea-sickness pills when you collect your trolley?

;)

[irene]

I think we all look at setting up a ferry service to and from the new venue. Will we be able to do duty free!!!!!!!!!

[irene]

[quote=irene;13828]I think we all look at setting up a ferry service to and from the new venue. Will we be able to do duty free and have a party ship!!!!

[exiled_humanity]

Come on you know it's a great idea.

Just imagine all the benefits like...... ....... ...... ...... fresh fish, taking your speed boat shopping, and if your one of those people that love pushing trolleys into rivers, you won't have to go far!

Tis fantastic.

[Gray Hill]

But... but... but... It'll never work!

It'll be a landing hazard for all those planes flying in to the Severnside airport that they're going to build.

It'll be a barrage to the Severn Barrage.

Have you ever tried pushing a shopping trolley across Severn mud? :eek:

Not to mention the disruption it'll cause to all those rare, migrating birds that will end up diverting to Flatholm because their patch of estuary has a supermarket floating in it.

Sheeeesh! Use your imagination!

[exiled_humanity]

Oh that sounds like a challenge. Wish I knew what an imagination was, but will just make stuff up to counter your arguments instead.


It'll be a landing hazard for all those planes flying in to the Severnside airport that they're going to build.

We could put the airport on top of the supermarket. Think about it, attract more custom from there, everyone wants sweeties before they go on a long trip. Would be the first petrol stop shop for planes, the supermarket would truly be revolutionary! In fact I've deluded myself into believing this is so good am gonna send a copy of this thread to Alan Sugar!

It'll be a barrage to the Severn Barrage.

Mmmmhmmm? Even less flood? *confused*

Have you ever tried pushing a shopping trolley across Severn mud?

No, I've lost my wellies in it though. But another selling point, think about the wonders mud contaminated with raw sewage would do for the skin! Mhmmmmm supermarket side spa.

Not to mention the disruption it'll cause to all those rare, migrating birds that will end up diverting to Flatholm because their patch of estuary has a supermarket floating in it.

We'll make sure to keep the birds, and use them in our gourmet section to compete with Waitrose!

How'd I do?

[Nam]

I have to say that one took me by surprise. Still, I won't miss Somerfield overmuch. They are not wildly well organised. My wife was chuckling the other day because the call came out for 'queue-busters' an a girl on the deli counter commented 'Don't know why they bothered with that call -there's no one else here who can run the tills'

Waitrose in Caldicot is a bit of a wild concept mind you. What do you think Waitrose' management are thinking? It's famously 'top end' in terms of price (although I heard they launched a 'value' range recently). Do you think Waitrose reckon they'd get a lot of people travelling to Caldicot to use the store? Where will they park?

For some of the less mobile folk in Caldicot (elderly/lower income/no car) I suspect Waitrose will hit them in the pocket.

Personally I'm happy, in as much as I'm a bit of a hippy and like all the ethical stuff Waitrose do. . . but I'm expecting my shopping bill to go up.

[Gray Hill]

Oh that sounds like a challenge. Wish I knew what an imagination was, but will just make stuff up to counter your arguments instead.



We could put the airport on top of the supermarket. Think about it, attract more custom from there, everyone wants sweeties before they go on a long trip. Would be the first petrol stop shop for planes, the supermarket would truly be revolutionary! In fact I've deluded myself into believing this is so good am gonna send a copy of this thread to Alan Sugar!



Mmmmhmmm? Even less flood? *confused*



No, I've lost my wellies in it though. But another selling point, think about the wonders mud contaminated with raw sewage would do for the skin! Mhmmmmm supermarket side spa.



We'll make sure to keep the birds, and use them in our gourmet section to compete with Waitrose!

How'd I do?

You did fine. You answered all my concerns. I'm happy and will, in future, give the floating supermarket project my full support.

[exiled_humanity]

Yay!

Gray Hill? Do you feel like dancing?

[Gray Hill]

Not at the moment - I'm in the middle of re-homing 328 snowdrop bulbs.

Maybe when that new floating supermarket is built, eh?

Are you truly exiled? How far off are you exiled? A safe distance, I trust?

[exiled_humanity]

You must really like snowdrops and have a really big garden. Or is it community service? :p

o.O someones been naugty, streaking or shoplifting? O.o

Some would say I live on my own little planet, in a dimensoin far far away.

I do rub up against reality now and then, but don't worry when I do am usually chaperoned.

[janno6]

Awsome.... I think you should run Caldicot. At last someone with a vision to re wake this little town. I got visions of being in my gondola, cruising the aisles, maybe a little outboard motor for a cheeky bit of speed when im feeling reckless........